The same, but oh so different

A few weeks ago I took A and E for a child development check up. I went by myself with the girls as at almost age 6 I didn't feel I needed any additional help with them.

I was called in for our appointment with the Child development nurse. I went in with both of them, sat down and handed over their cards outlining all their vaccinations.

She was a very cheerful nurse but asked if there was any chance we could do the check up on them one at a time.

"Well I'm here on my own, I doubt one of them will wait outside".

She humoured me and really did her best to evaluate both of the girls at the same time.

They had to stack 10 blocks on top of each other, draw a picture, identify various objects - nothing too taxing.

However as can be with children, sometimes they don't like to comply. A became shy and sat on my knee. With a few words of encouragement E was happy to oblige and complete all the tasks. Eventually A half-heartedly attempted to amuse me and the nurse and did enough to just pass the satisfactory minimal requirement.

They then had to be weighed and measured and the nurse was completely astounded that they both weighed and measured the same!

"Identical twins!" I told her, but she still double checked that she had taken the measurements correctly.

Once she had completed the checks we then had to have a meeting with the Paediatrician. Before we went in I tried to cajole both of them that they had to comply and to just answer any question that was asked, otherwise we were going to have to come back for further assessments. We met with a doctor who asked them a couple of easy questions. Thankfully E became rather confident in her ability to answer and tried to answer on behalf of both of them.

One of the tasks was to look at a picture and tell the story or to answer questions about what was happening. E engaged with the idea and completed the task with no problem. A sat on my knee and cuddled in to me. I tried to encourage her. I said she could answer in English or Hebrew and eventually she managed a few words.

"Is she always like this?" enquired the doctor
"She's a little on the shy side with strangers" I tried to explain.
"Well I suppose her teacher would tell you if she wasn't learning properly" she continued
"She's doing really well in kindergarten" I found myself explaining.
Truth was I didn't really blame A for not wanting to tell a story from pictures to a doctor she had never met who wasn't overly warm or caring.

Finally A just about rose to the challenge and came up with some mono-syllabic answers and we were signed off and could leave.

As we left the clinic I thought about what I had just witnessed over the past 30 minutes and it made me smile. I imagine that the nurse had written down how physically identical A and E were and the doctor had probably written down that they couldn't be more different.  And of course the second the doors of the clinic closed behind us A breathed a sigh of relief and carried on with her incessant non stop chatter.

She goes one way, she goes the other!

So they've been inseparable for 5.5 years and today they both took their first steps into their new Reception/Gan classroom alone.  The classrooms are in fact next to one another and in the playground at the back of each classroom, is a very low fence separating the two areas. I am quite convinced that there will be plenty of chatting over the fence during playtime!. For me however as their Mummy it was a new phase in life and I have to confess that I had been having a few anxieties about the decision ever since that fateful day earlier this year when I filled in the application forms to separate them.

One of my main concerns is that one of them would have lots of friends in her class and the other wouldn't. Well thankfully the local authority got it right and they split the nursery they were in last year into two and so on the day when I discovered the names of the Ganim that they had each received, there followed a flurry of whatsapp messages, some of which I could barely keep up with, until I had compiled two lists of names as to who was going to be in gan with A and who with E.

The girls have delighted in telling me on many occasions over the summer, which gan they were going to, the name of their teacher and reeling off the names of the girls (certainly no boys were ever mentioned) who will be with them. DH and I on the other hand have had to really try hard to memorise the name of each gan for each child, and as for the names of the other children, well as the year goes on, I guess we will become familiar with who is with who.

Last week they each had to visit their new gan to meet the teacher and see the classroom.  Last Friday I took E. It was strange just driving with E only, and as much as I know they are individuals one of the first things I found myself telling the teacher is that she is a twin and her twin is in the class next door.  I guess it's a twin thing. It is so much of who they are.
On Sunday DH took A to her new gan.  Both girls in their meeting were extremely shy and reserved, stayed close to our side but coloured in the picture to adorn the classroom wall for their arrival.  I don't think their shyness had any bearing on their being separated from each other.

So this morning finally arrived and after much discussion it was agreed by all that I would take A into her class and DH would take E.  DH and I were definitely more excited and nervous than the girls were.

"Aren't you going to say good-bye to each other?" I heard DH call out.

They didn't.

I took A into her classroom, met the teacher, found her a chair to sit on with two of her best friends from last year and I left her colouring in hearts that I drew her on the paper. I took my leave. It was all rather quick and painless.

I noticed DH hadn't come out of the other room, so I peeked in. E was also colouring in. I went over to plant a kiss on her head and to say goodbye and she clung to my leg.  We had a quick chat with the teacher, looked at her drawing and I tried to leave. In the end the teacher took her from me and I ducked out of the room.  I knew within about 10 seconds she would also be fine.

This afternoon, I came a little early as a treat to pick them up, and collected E first as she was standing in the doorway and saw me approach.  A friend of mine,who also has identical twins in the same classes as our two, arrived at the same time and asked me, "Who do I collect first?" It's a tough decision for a Mummy of twins.

Obviously I got into trouble and A has insisted that I pick her up first tomorrow.  I guess it will go on like that all year.

And so they both had a great day. They had chatted at break-time in the playground. They had done different activities but had both received a sweet at some point during the day and they had eaten the same catered lunch and the best news for DH and I is, is that they are both looking forward to going back tomorrow.

Together forever?

The form has been signed, the comments written now we just have to sit and wait until May when we find out the names of the pre-school nurseries that A and E will attend next year.

And so it was that I confidently went down to the municipality to register A and E for next year in the school system.  I was going to do it online. I even opened the system and went through most of the registration process but there was just one doubt in my mind and something inside me made me want to fill in the forms with an official person for support.  So I went to the municipality, took a ticket, waited patiently for my turn, which fortunately was only about 15 minutes, and approached the clerk set with the unenviable task of registering hundreds of children for kindergarten and school.  I quickly explained my dilemma of registering identical twins for pre-school and she asked me the question I knew was coming - "So do you want them to be separated or remain together?".  Of course I want them to remain together, they have done everything together, they have the same friends, they love each other, they are best friends and are so happy together - was what I was thinking. So I calmly answered her "I need to separate them".  

The forms were both filled in and printed. Then they were stapled together and on the top of each form in red pen was written - "to separate".

I know we have made the right decision. Fortunately the three pre-school nurseries linked to the primary school that they will attend the following year are right next to each other.  Chances are their friends that they are with now will be divided between the three nurseries.  All my friends think it's great as they have a pretty good chance of their child being in nursery with a Yantin next year - and they don't mind which one they get - why would they - most people don't know who is who anyway. Which is why we have decided that the time has come for them to start being individuals.

I can't imagine what it must be like to get to nursery in the morning and the first thing the teacher says is "Who are you?" "Are you A or E". Next year A will go to nursery and be known as A and E will be known as E. 

I am sure it will take a lot of getting used to.  I am sure the first few mornings won't be so easy but it has to be done.  So now we wait to check which nursery they are placed in with the hope that each of them will be at least with a couple of friends they know.

Yesterday A and E were photographed by a lady doing a photo project on identical twins. As I look at the images (below) of the two almost identical faces and the gorgeous smiles, I know that there will be plenty of together time after nursery and I know the twin bond runs so deep, separating them for nursery won't really separate their love and devotion to each other.

The fun that is 5

I have been so busy over the past few months that I have neglected my blog post, but it would be remiss of me if I didn't use the occasion of A and E's 5th Birthday to write an update.

Life is always hectic and it's hard to take a step back and look at what is happening right now in our lives.  I'm not sure where the past five years have flown. As a family we have certainly made some major changes to our lives and it's pretty true to say that we are all in a very good place right now.

Eldest daughter is on the brink of turning 12 and celebrating her Bat-Mitzvah. Boy in the middle has found his place in his class and is integrating well into the Israeli society around him. And then we look at A and E.

They are a bundle of fun, a team, a continuous challenge and an honour to parent.

They have their best friend with them all the time. Bath-time is just so much fun when you have your twin to make a bridge so you can slide underneath.  Buying treats is brilliant as you each choose something different and then you can share two things.  And we can never just watch one episode of Charlie and Lola or read one bedtime story, they each have to choose one.

And every day they bring their best friend home from nursery and role play together for hours, play with all the toys and entirely destroy the playroom. The games are always extremely complex but they both know exactly which role they are playing and when I start telling them that it is actually time to have a bath and go to bed they tend to answer me with "No we haven't got to that bit yet, we are just going to nursery" or "don't worry Mummy it will end with bath-time and bed-time".

So now we move further away from the toddler years and with that Peppa Pig is making much less of an appearance in our lives. We tackled the final challenge of being dry during the night which we had put off for far too long. When you have one child it's not such an issue to double layer the bed and carry one sleeping child to the bathroom in the night before going to bed. But the thought of the possibility of two wet beds and the huge piles of washing of duvets had put me off for a while.
Anyway, so far so good and my washing hasn't increased that dramatically.

Their personalities are shining through more and more each day.  Recently they both received a present of some spending money in an envelope. They both opened the envelope at the same time and took out the contents. A took one look, threw the note on the floor and screamed "that's not a present" but E reassured her and said "No it is a present, we take this to the shop and buy things with it!"

And now I'm off to bed exhausted, worrying and feeling guilty about the fact that I have only made one Hello Kitty cake for tomorrow. Should I have made two?

The ultimate dilemma

I was just enjoying the peace and quiet in my house on Tuesday evening.  A and E were fast asleep. Eldest daughter and boy in the middle were in bed early, following their fabulous two week vacation at Grandma N's in London.  I was checking the news when suddenly I heard a noise outside, which I thought was an ambulance siren or a motorbike.  Over the noise of my air conditioning, I opened the patio doors but sure enough it was an air raid siren which although we have unfortunately become accustomed to over the past couple of weeks I just wasn't expecting it.

I was home alone. Our safe room is on the ground floor which is actually boy in the middle's bedroom. Eldest daughter was sleeping in there too since Uncle J was with us on a flying visit for work to Israel. I dashed upstairs to A and E's room. I looked at them both sleeping in their beds.  The slight sweaty mop of curls from the summer heat in their room, the covers kicked off and the realisation that at age 4.5 they are actually very tall and long in their beds. As I ran up the stairs I planned to pick up one and take her down and come back for the second. However when I entered the room my motherly instincts kicked in and I couldn't do it. Deep down I knew the chance of any danger occurring to any of us from a rocket attack was minimal, and possibly the most danger could have come from falling down the stairs in a panic.  However looking down at my sleeping beauties I couldn't bring myself to choose who to take first, so with adrenelin coursing through my body I did what I think any twin Mummy would do - I picked up one in my left arm and then the other in my right arm and with them both still fast asleep I somehow managed to carry them both downstairs.

We arrived in somewhat of a heap into boy in the middle's room where I lay A down on his bed and E lucked out and carried on sleeping on top of me as I collapsed onto his bed.

They carried on sleeping, I checked facebook and whatsapp on my phone, we listened out for the distant booms of the iron dome, and then a few minutes later boy in the middle asked if we could all just get off his bed now and leave.  We only have to remain in the safe room for 10 minutes so I managed to get to a vertical position whilst still holding E and carried her upstairs. The difference with the return journey back to their room was, with no sign of danger, I gladly carried them back up one at a time.

It was a small moment of my evening but left my heart pounding, and an incident that I hope I won't have to repeat in the future. 

Twirly Girlies

I remember one day as a young girl of around 9 or 10 over-hearing a conversation between my Mum and my Sister who is 5 years older than me.  I can't remember the exact details of the conversation but I do know it was to do with clothes and it was certainly to do with the fact that my Mum didn't like or approve of whatever my sister was wearing. I remember being the annoying younger sister and claiming that I always wore what Mum picked out or suggested and I would never be bothered about my clothes.  Of course that didn't last long as I also turned into a teenager with an unusual dress sense.

Now I look at my own children and I thought all was going extremely well. Eldest daughter is extremely compliant - has a good dress sense and happily wears all manner of clothes according to occasion. Boy in the middle generally couldn't care less what he wears although he has a preference for red tops or sweatshirts. I think he is realising that boys clothes are just not as colourful as girls.

And then we get to the youngest members of our family. And that is where the ease of dressing ends.  The days of dressing A in pink and E in purple have long since gone and I now have to contend on a daily basis with dressing two of the girliest girls I have ever met.  The piles of jeans and trousers and leggings that were all worn by eldest daughter sit unloved and unworn in the wardrobe. In their place we have twirly skirts and dresses.  A is the most particular about her choice of clothes and whereas she used to wear either a skirt or a dress,  in the past few days she has declared that skirts too are no longer acceptable and it is only dresses for her.  E is a little less particular and can on occasion be persuaded into a pair of leggings under a dress or skirt.  

I think the last time I recall either of them wearing leggings with no frills or twirly skirts in sight was on a hike up Masada at the end of December.

And it makes one wonder where they get this from? It's certainly not from me as I tend to wear jeans or trousers every day for work. 

I know or I hope at some point it will pass and the large variety of clothes that we have for them will get worn.  I am a little concerned about the approaching summer and the gorgeous stacks of shorts I have for them in the cupboard but at least on my last trip to Primark I bought a variety of sundresses which thankfully have all been approved and some of them have been given a twirling rating.

Things that go bump in the night!

Some things just become a habit, like complaining when it's time to have their hair washed, or their daily fix of watching Peppa Pig, or their almost total refusal to allow Daddy to get them dressed. Some of these habits we can put up with, get over or ignore but then there are others that we really do not want to become habits yet we are increasingly unable to put a stop to.

And so it has become something of a routine that almost every morning when I wake up I find either A or E snuggled up in my bed next to me. On occasion there is a little girl on either side of me, leaving DH little room on his side of the bed! And each morning when I wake up and see a cute little face next to me, part of me is so happy to see her and part of me is increasingly annoyed that I had not noticed when she had arrived in the night and that I had not had the strength or ability to take her back to her bed.

It has become so much of an occurrence that if I do wake up without a small child in the bed, my first thought is usually to realise how well I slept with so much space. My thought process then hopes that they are both ok followed by a dash out of bed to check on them!

So in order to nip this habit in the bud we are consciously (or semi-consciously I should say for the middle of the night) trying to navigate the girls back to their room when they get up for a wander around usually at 2am. The only problem is that our own sleeping hours are very limited and once I am asleep I don't really hear very much. Which means that DH if he wakes up at all has also been trying to get up and take A or E back to bed.

We thought it was starting to work but then when I woke up this morning with one of them asleep next to me. DH was amazed. He commented
"But I took her back to bed at 4am - I wonder when she came back".
"Well I presume she is still in her bed; this is the other one"I pointed out to him!

It's a privilege and a pleasure to be the parents of twins and in the case of these frequent nocturnal visits we will continue in our quest to break the cycle and perhaps one time in the not too distant future we will all manage to sleep through the night!